Growing Pains and The Gift Of Not Knowing

Malibu after the fires

Malibu after the fires

Every few years we are called to a revision of some sort. Be it our creative expressions, 

          priorities,

            relationships, 

                           lifestyle ...

When these reviews come up it is extremely important to dive in. Are you ready for this one? (Take a moment to grab your journal.)


  • Where are you sitting in un- comfortability and why? 

  • Is the unsettled feeling coming from an inner voice of knowing? (“please give me attention”).

  • Or from the pressure feeder of our culture a.k.a, the outside world? (“please examine”). 

  • Is it something you want to face or something you so desperately try to avoid?


These are all important questions to ask yourself if you want to get to know yourself better. In doing so, you will become a better advocate for yourself! There are also those times where, you can feel some review happening, but you don't know exactly what it means. You are sitting in the space of “Not knowing”. An extremely special and auspicious space to be in. 

I believe that there is an opening during that time that allows you to transcend previous structures of thought and belief. A window is open within a frame of time. You can choose to go through the opening (challenge your current beliefs systems, ideologies and values), though it’s dark and nothing is yet defined. Or, you can stay in your room until the window closes again. The window, however, will present itself again at a later date. 

In this space you are opening your mind to new ways of living and possibility. Asking questions and sitting with yourself during this time is most important in guiding you. A part of your psyche is exploring new frontiers!!! We are transitioning more often than not. So this “not knowing” is a huge part of our existence. The moments of not knowing can seem scary, so we try to skip over them or resort back to the thing we know. But this only holds us back from our potential, our ever expanding awareness of who we are, our deepest desires and dreams. The drive behind our being.

  I’m going to paraphrase what my teacher told me his teacher use to tell him, “leave room for the great mystery, always court the mystery”. We don’t always have to know. In fact, most of the time, we don’t! In the 'not knowing', we come back to a beginner’s mind. 

The beginner always grows. 

In not knowing, you are opening to the next chapter of who you are. 

So getting comfortable with the uncomfortable is a damn good idea if you ask me. 

'Cause this life is filled with uncomfortable growth spurts. 

  … I think our first warning came when we where kids. Experiencing growth spurts, getting our first teeth etc. came with; aches, pains and fevers that sometimes resulted in tears. 

Our bodies where prepping us then for what it takes to grow now.


Self care: 

 There are days when my unsettled feelings are simply my bodie’s way of communicating that I haven’t given it enough loving thought and attention. There are also times when my unsettled feelings are because my life choices are up for review.

Take amount to check in with your body. What does it need from you this moment? Your body will always tell you the truth when you are ready to LISTEN. Honor the truth by addressing hat your body is expressing it needs.


Raquel Jordanpains, not knowing